The Laws of Dating:
My Lamentations
Hear me oh other half of the population for it is important that you listen to my words. For I have been on many a date whether they be fun or boring. There are many things which you must do in order to become successful in dating. You can sing annoying songs from old TV commercials but not on a first date. You can talk to me about politics but not on a first date. You can talk about your favorite football team for hours but not on a first date. You can talk to me about the family that you want but definitely not on the first date. You can write me poems but do not recite them on the first date.
On Things that are done TO OFTEN
Oh it is great to text but not when we are on a date. It is good to talk to your girlfriends as in friends who are girls but not on a date. It is good to talk about your mother but not excessively. It is good to talk about your mission but not excessively. You can talk about other dates you have been on but not excessively. If you say you are going to call me then do, don’t say you will if you wont. You can like the Yankees but then you can’t date me.
On Talking about Cars
Cars are great. They get me from point A to point B but other than the fact that some cars are blue and some cars are red I cannot tell the difference. I will listen to you rant on about how your Taurus could run better if it had more cylinders and so on but I will not be able to understand what you are talking about. You can ramble on about your dream car but to me it will be just another nice looking vehicle. I do not know car models other than Honda even though you may know all of them. It is very nice that you are interested in cars but I am not so please refrain from talking about cars.
On My Randomness
I like many women, like to talk a lot and somethings you can it take for not, but here are a few things you might want to take heed to. When I say you don’t have to buy things for me I’m lying. When I say oh its nothing, I’m lying. When I say things like that’s nice or wow, no way, I’m being sarcastic. When I say I need you right now that doesn’t mean in thirty seconds that means hey you be here. I am not high maintenance you just need to make more time for me. And if you take anything from this piece of bantering you should learn one thing. I am always right. Even when I’m wrong I am right. Just don’t argue with me.
Note: I am not speaking for all women because we are all very different. This is about Sam Hansen and her issues with dating. These rules apply to many women but will not work with everyone
40 minutes
Oh, this was great. I liked the simple word choice you used. Nothing was over elaborate, but the point came across just fine. I also enjoyed the voice you used and how well it all flowed together. I especially like the sections about cars, because I have no idea about cars at all. Except that I drive a jeep, and when the arrow is at E it is not good. So I loved that section! Good job!
ReplyDeleteI find this to be quite hilarious, and I actually agree with most of it. I think you need to use more punctuation. For example, in the last paragraph you started out "I like many women, like to talk a lot and somethings you can it take for not, but here are a few things you might want to take heed to." The first part makes it sound like you're making a statement, "I like many women." When really you mean "I, like many women, ..." Just a thought. Other than the punctuation, I really enjoyed this and like how you use voice in this. It's your own, not someone else's.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a great piece of writing. Something intriguing being one of an opposite gender I suppose. I think one thing that we forget as we stumble through the dating scene is that its a give and take, emphasis on the give; and I think that this piece helps us, or at least me, to remember and try to more fully comprehend the complexities that occur when you try to date the opposite gender. Now I'm scared.
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