Prompt B

Original Conclusion:

All in all, the sense of taste is an important feature of our bodies. We can find pleasure through the vital act of eating through our perception of taste. We can be warned of dangerous toxins in foods or other things before they enter our bodies. There are a lot of factors that affect our preferences in taste; environment, odor, history, appearance, mood, and others. Our ability to perceive tastes and flavors really improves our quality of life. Imagine life without knowing the delectable taste of chocolate, the savory taste of barbeque ribs, or the delicious taste of an apple. Life just would not be as enjoyable.

Rewritten Conclusion:

Food is an important aspect of daily life that is often overlooked. We must eat daily to receive strength and nourishment. The flavors of food make this necessity enjoyable. Different flavors evoke different emotions; the flavors of certain soups make me feel comfort, the flavor of cough medicine makes me feel nauseous, and the flavor of cookies makes me miss my mom. The sense of taste is crucial to our quality of life. Without taste, food is less enjoyable. Without enjoyment, eating is a struggle. Without eating, we cannot be healthy. I never appreciated the ability we have to perceive such delicious tastes. As I have come to understand the complex way our bodies taste food, I have a greater appreciation for the food that I do enjoy. For me, eating is a great pleasure in life and should be enjoyed. With that, I think I will go enjoy some delicious food.

Combination Conclusion:

Food is an important aspect of daily life that is often overlooked. We must eat daily to receive strength and nourishment. The sense of taste does several things for this necessity; we can be warned of harmful toxins in things that enter our bodies or receive some pleasure from the things we eat. Different flavors evoke different emotions; the flavors of certain soups make me feel comfort, the flavor of cough medicine makes me feel nauseous, and the flavor of cookies makes me miss my mom. The sense of taste is crucial to our quality of life. Without taste, food is less enjoyable. Without enjoyment, eating is a struggle. Without eating, we cannot be healthy. Imagine life without knowing the way the taste of the food we eat. I never appreciated the ability we have to perceive such delicious tastes. As I have come to understand the complex way our bodies taste food, I have a greater appreciation for the food that I do enjoy. For me, eating is a great pleasure in life and should be enjoyed.

I like my rewritten conclusion more than my original, I think that it adds more personal than the original (which is what I’m working on adding to my whole essay). I did like some of the ideas from the original that weren’t in the rewritten, so I added them into the rewritten. I think it is better than at first, but the whole conclusion probably still needs some work. Conclusions are my weakest point in writing, I can never figure out how to write them without sounding redundant or cheesy. Any suggestions would be so great.

45 Minutes