week 12

10 cups of powered awkward (about one per month)

20 gallons of liquid awesome (two gallons per month)

6 cups of powdered awesome

6 formerly geographically distinct dudes

6 interesting and diverse young women

1 bag of Camaraderie

2-80 pound bags of crazy

3 beef-flavored bouillon cubes

This recipe is for commercial use and therefore has ingredients measured in large quantities. The list of ingredients can reduced for smaller batches but the ratio must remain the same. Combine the 6 cups of powdered awesome, 6 formerly geographically distinct dudes, 6 interesting and diverse young women, 1 bag of Camaraderie, 2-80 pound bags of crazy, and 3 beef-flavored bouillon cubes into a large mixing bowl shaped like a college campus. This is important because if it’s in any other container it won’t come out the same. If placed in another environment the outcome will be different and the final product will not have had the benefit of blending with the other ingredients. Stir mixture both vigorously and gently, alternating between the two as needed or when the personal urge arises, until smooth or at least until there are no chunks larger than 4’8”. Once this is complete place the blended ingredients on a large baking sheet. Initial placement is key, place them far enough apart that they do not touch in the beginning but once in the oven they will melt and form one large cake of awesome. This placement is about 1” apart on all sides. Take this mixture and place it on the middle rack of a large oven for two semesters on low heat with occasional weekly bursts on high heat. Frequently bast the cake with liquid awesome about 9 to 10 times a day. While this baking time may seem long it is necessary for the ingredients to blend and properly meld together. The cups of awkward will need to be sprinkled on a weekly basis as the need arises. The powdered awkward may have a somewhat bitter and awkward taste at the time consumption, but as the consumer looks back and reminisces about their experience while consuming the cake the bitter awkwardness will be one of intense personal enjoyment and hilarity. Take care while removing the cake from the oven, it is often quite heavy as the byproducts of the baking process are copious amounts of memories and a sense of personal attachment. The makers of this recipe would suggest the use of a lifting partner, a hand truck, and, of course, oven mittens. Carefully place cake a level flat surface to cool. Once the cake has cooled cut the cake into equal slices and serve on plates made of pure gold and unicorn. Consumers of the cake may add various condiments to their cake such as: chocolate syrup, strawberries, rainbow dew, cotton candy, and sunflower seeds. Condiments that have been deemed unacceptable to be added to said cake is anything of French origin, except if it’s delicious or persons of approved authority confirm its goodness. Serves 8.

502 words/ 1hour 59min